Things I Would Tell My 20-Year- Old Self

Curtshandra J. Duplechain

“Honest self-understanding liberates us from our stuck emotions.”

– C Terry Warner

If you could go back in time and give your twenty year old self advice, what would you say? With every new year of life, comes new lessons. As I am getting ready to began a new chapter in my life I am overwhelmed with gratitude at what life has been teaching me. As I look back and reflect over the years I know that my twenty year old self would be so proud of the woman I have become and am still becoming.

Still becoming….Who you are becoming is a never ending journey of life. There is so much beauty in it all and so much growth that comes with it. Here are some things I would tell my twenty-year-old self:

  1. One of the first things I would tell my twenty year old self is to never stop growing and becoming the best version of yourself. Personal growth should be continuous, that’s one thing they don’t teach you in school. You have to be intentional with your personal growth if you want to create the life you dream of. If you ever feel stuck, find ways to grow. Pick up a book, take a class, or engage in something that will stimulate and grow your mind.
  2. Make time for self-care. Self-care is essential. It really makes a world of a difference in your overall well-being. Life has a tendency to burn you out if you don’t make time for the things that keep you refreshed. Make self-care a part of your routine every week. No matter how simple it may be.
  3. I would tell myself that it’s true what they say, “Health is wealth.” If you really want to live a more satisfying and happier life start taking care of yourself. Exercise changes not only your body but also your brain. What your eat makes a huge impact on your energy levels. My fitness journey has really changed my life, putting my focus on this area has made a positive impact on all the other areas of my life. It’s helping me to be disciplined and teaching me how to push myself.
  4. Compare less and reflect more. When you take time to to really reflect on where you are in life and the things you really want you will have less reason to compare. Know what you want and work towards it everyday. Self-reflection really helps to keep you in tune with yourself.
  5. Never stop dreaming. God has placed those dreams and desires in your heart for a reason. Working towards your dreams keeps life fresh and exciting. It’s the process and reaching those dreams that grows you so much. There is so much opportunity in the world, never stop going after your dreams.
  6. Always set goals for your life. If you don’t aim for anything you won’t get anything. Setting goals will help you to be able to accomplish those things you dream of. Goals are the baby steps you need to help you get there. Be intentional with the life that you’re building. Most of the people who are unhappy with their life didn’t take the time to be intentional and build it according to their vision and desires. Build your life according to the vision you have, don’t let anyone create it for you because you will be the one who has to live it.
  7. Go for it! When you have something that you really want to do don’t be afraid to step out and go for it. It doesn’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to know all the steps. You just have to be willing to start. Starting will help you to gain the confidence you need to grow and learn along the way. When I started blogging I had no clue what I was doing but I learned so much as I just stepped out and started.
  8. Never stop believing and trusting God. Maybe this should have been my first point. Having a relationship with Jesus and seeking His wisdom for your life will keep you from making a lot of big mistakes. Not saying that your life will be perfect but it will definitely help you to stay on the right track. You need God’s wisdom and direction in your life to lead you through every season. One of the things that has helped me to navigate through these years is praying and having a close relationship with the Holy Spirit. When you are close to God He will show you things that will save your life. Don’t ever stop relying on His wisdom.
  9. Don’t be afraid to say, “No.” And also don’t feel guilty for saying no. When you say, “Yes,” to something make sure it’s what you really want to do. Every time you say, “yes” to something you are saying, “no” to something else. It’s so important to set and establish boundaries in your life. If you don’t people will really try to take advantage of that. Setting boundaries are so important in establishing healthy relationships and connections. Don’t set yourself on fire trying to overextend yourself.
  10. Be true to yourself, don’t hold back because it makes someone else uncomfortable. Be yourself! Everybody is not going to like you and that’s okay. As long as your love yourself and are happy with who you are that’s all that matters. Be who you are and be confident in that.
  11. You are responsible for your own happiness. Take time to discover the things that you enjoy and spend more time doing those things. Making time for self-care will help you discover those things.
  12. Consistency is Key. If you are consistent with the right habits it will change your life for the better. Create a routine with positive habits and stay consistent. My fitness and personal growth journey has taught me this and it’s has added so much value to my life.
  13. Live in the moment. Don’t be so forward focused that you miss out on the beauty of the season you are in. Every season of life is so important and plays a critical role in who you are becoming. Live and enjoy the season you are in an allow yourself room to grow through what you are learning.

Life has a way of teaching you so many things if you are open to learning as you go through it. I am thankful for the many things I’ve learned over the years. This hasn’t been an easy journey but it’s has gotten me to the place I am today and I am forever grateful. Thank you so much for reading!

What’s something you would tell your twenty year old self? Comment below I would love to hear.

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